Private adoption in the US can be a complicated and emotional process, but it’s not without its challenges. Issues like fraudulent practices, the high cost of adoption, and the profit-driven nature of some agencies have raised concerns among hopeful parents and advocates. These issues highlight the need to protect everyone involved and ensure the child’s well-being remains the top priority.
While there are no national statistics, experts say somewhere between one and two million couples in the US are waiting to adopt. Many are looking for infants, but there just aren’t enough babies available. Some turn to international adoption, though that’s become more restricted, while others consider the U.S. foster system. However, fostering rarely places infants and can involve a long, complicated process. For those who can afford it, private domestic adoption is another option, but it comes with its own set of challenges.
Kirsta Bowman, an adoptee activist, criticizes the adoption industry for exploiting people struggling with infertility and infant loss. She says adoption has become a profit-driven, supply-and-demand business, where agencies charge tens of thousands of dollars for babies, often pricing children differently based on demographics. Birth parents might feel pressured or misled about their options, and adoptive families can face sky-high fees. When money becomes the focus, this life-changing journey risks becoming a transactional process.
Sociologist Gretchen Sisson points out many adoption agencies spend most of their budgets on Google ads, not on legal fees or supporting birth moms. Some even target pregnant women looking for housing or childcare, redirecting them to adoption services. Others use geofencing to show adoption ads to people visiting Planned Parenthood or abortion clinics, often showcasing adoptive families with big houses and stable lives. This can pressure women into adoption when they were really looking for parenting resources.
On the other side, hopeful adoptive parents sometimes face adoption scams. These scams involve someone pretending to be pregnant or planning adoption to gain emotional or financial support, then disappearing. While scams are rare, they leave families heartbroken and out thousands of dollars.
Here are some steps prospective adoptive families can take to avoid scams in their adoption journey. Start with choosing a trusted professional, like an agency or attorney, who can screen prospective birth parents and guide you through the process. Build a relationship with the birth parents to understand their situation better and watch for any red flags. Stay informed by joining online adoption groups to learn about common scams and patterns. Finally, never give money directly — let professionals handle living expenses to ensure everything stays legal and secure.
Private domestic adoption in the U.S. has some serious issues, like commission-based practices, illegal gag clauses, and troubling trends such as ads for babies or lower fees based on race. Conversations with adoption professionals, parents, and advocates, along with document reviews, show these problems are widespread.
Advocates suggest major changes to private adoption in the U.S. could be the answer, but progress has been slow, and finding solutions everyone agrees on isn’t easy. Some push for federal oversight, but others believe fixes should happen at the state level, like better legal support for birth parents, tracking adoption data, and controlling high fees. So far, most changes make things easier for adoptive parents, leaving birth parents with less support and little awareness of the issue.
